How to Portray Confidence & Success

Many women who are attacked are chosen because of the way they presented themselves. Something about their posture told the assailant, “here is a weak woman, I can take her”. A predator will scent if you are scared and not in control.

So how do they know? By the way you carry yourself. Low self esteem or fearfulness is demonstrated by slouched shoulders, head down, arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence is demonstrated by walking tall, shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact, and arms at the side. One statistic revealed that those trained in self defense are less likely to ever be attacked because of the way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to defend themselves and to not take a weak position. They have confidence.

Try this experiment. The next time you are in a public place, mall, grocery store, the beach, wherever, walk past all the people and look them directly in the eye. You might want to smile a little or offer a “how ya doin’?” so they don’t think you are stalking them. You will be amazed at the number of people who will not look at you. They will look down or away but not at you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people in the eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will find it hard to find 10 people who will look at you.

By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you are communicating that you are not afraid. You are sending nonverbal clues that you do not lack confidence. To get into the practice of always looking people in the eye, take it one step further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a quick glance, you are not starring down people but, if you make an effort to determine eye color, you can be confident that you are properly looking people head on in the eyes.

“But I AM scared,” you confess. There are two things you can do about that: one, take some self defense classes and learn how not to be afraid; and two, change how you project yourself to fake it until you make it. You may be scared out of your wits, but if you get the self talk going, “I am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it, head up, shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the illusion that you are not a weak prey.

Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it. Join our next RAD (Rape Aggression Defense) class and become strong.


**Angie M. Tarighi is the CEO/Founder of Women's Self-Defense Institute and EasySafety4U.com providing self defense training, education awareness & personal protection products empowering women to fight back against crime.